Monday, October 4, 2010

When the going gets tough

After the devastating news the doctor did his best to explain that at this point there was no need for too much concern as our baby was really small and the problems with her heart could sort itself over time. He also said that would of never even picked the problem up if they didn’t have the new machine they were using. He showed the holes in her heart on the monitor and I tried to understand what he was showing me basically all I could work out not really being a doctor and all that there were red colours where there was suppose to be blue and blue where there was supposed to be red part of me was just hoping there was a problem the contrast on his monitor but probably not. They wheeled Kelly back to her room there was nothing but silence between us. No matter how much someone tells you to not worry that’s all you seem to do, no matter how hard you try to be positive your mind keeps wandering to that dark side of what if… But one of us had to be strong and Kelly had already been through so much with the special diet, all the pills, being poked and prodded like a piece of meat more times than we could kept track of. Me missing out on sleep, walking round like the un dead and surviving on junk food from Lidel didn’t really compare. So i did my best to be positive and told her that the greatest things are always the hardest to get and when the baby is here it will seem all the better knowing what we did to bring our little miracle into the world.


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